HOGWARTS! the musical
by Samara Morgan-ring
Summary: Everybody has the oddest urge to sing in the Harry world, read on! Who is behind this deed? i own nothing, if u dont know all the songs, the words are pretty obvious R&R please
1. Voldy on BROADWAY

My 1stest musical, yippee. No flames pleeze, music is HARD. CC ok, I guess,  
but if you just dont like tough. By the way, most songs will probably be  
from the Lion King, might not be though.  
Voldemort woke up with the most curious sensation, like he wanted to  
sing while torturing and killing random muggles and others to the tune of  
Hakuna Matata.  
::Voldy:: Avada Kadavra, what  
a wonderful phrase  
::Luscious:: Avada Kadavra, ain't no passin' craze  
::Both:: It's used with fury, and it will end your DAYS. It's our killing  
spree, philosophy, Avada Kadavra (Random muggles drop dead)  
Avada- Kadavra Don't forget cruciatus...  
::Luscious:: When he was a young git  
::Voldy:: When I was a young GIT  
::Luscious:: Very nice-  
He found that his evil had a snaky appeal  
He could kill any muggles any time he feeled  
::V:: And I gave Hagrid the blame  
::L:: That big oaf was lame  
::V:: Decided to change my name  
::L:: It gave you more fame  
::V:: I was so joy filled/ every time that I -  
::L:: Voldemort, not in front of the muggles  
(muggles whisper in hushed voices, these particular muggles being Jessica  
Simpson's relatives therefore to dense to realize the next word is killed)  
"Ok Malfoy, let's get back to the castle." They leave, wondering why they  
began that song.  
"AAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" Harry screamed. He had had the worst nightmare  
ever, Voldemort & Malfoy singing. He glanced at his clock 4:59, woefully,  
he began to sing a song (to the tune of 1969 in Even Stevens)  
:HARRY: I woke up to soon, at 4:59, not 5:00 but the minute before  
I woke up to soon at 4:59 because Voldemort was Acting LOONY  
:Boys: He didn't get to sleep very far  
Until he ate a chocolate baaaar (all eat chocolate)  
:Harry: I woke up to soon, at 4:59, not 4:58 but the minute after  
I woke up to soon, at 4:59, that's when Voldemort sang with Death Eaters  
I woke up to soon at 4:59, sleeping isn't all that eeeasy  
I need to to take some Tums so I will feel fine  
Cause right now I feel rreeally QUEASY  
I woke up to soon at 4:59 not 5:00 but the minute before  
I woke up to-  
:McGonagall: WHAT IS ALL THIS RACKET, GO BACK TO BED  
Boys mutter but go to sleep.  
It is now time for breakfast. Harry and Ron go down to the Great Hall.  
Where the house elves come out to serve food for some reason, and sing to  
the tune of Food glorious Food from Oliver-  
Is it worth the waiting for if we live till 84 I hope we dont get any Clo-  
othes  
Every day we say a prayer, Dumbledore please be fair  
Don't give us any Clo-othes  
Please not a hat, nor a sock let us find  
Let us touch let us use but our rags  
: Winky: But there's nothing to stop me from getting a thrill when I just  
close my eyes and IMA-GINE  
:ALL: Ser-vi-vi-vi-tude  
What wouldn't we give for?  
That ext-era chore  
That's all that we live for  
:Winky: What am I fated to, do nothing but brood On Serve- Vi-VI-tude  
:All: Servitude glorious Servitude  
Cleaning the dishes  
While teacher's are in the mood  
Serving fresh fishes  
:Students: JUST SERVE THE FUCKING FOOD  
:Elves: Yes misters and misses we serve food.  
Harry: Well this is odd, eh Ron?  
Ron( mouth full of food): Effing frougle wear.  
Harry: Eh?  
Ron: Pajamas  
Harry: OK.  
Hermione: You are both idiots, leave me to read my incredibly boring  
manual.  
Harry and Ron leave her to her incredibly boring manual  
(A/N hey ppls, R&R, cc wanted. Beta would be nice. Sorry the songs are cut  
short, but then it would be like 3 pages a song, look for chapter 2 and  
read my other stories) 


	2. Class

Harry and Ron walk into Transfiguration class when, you guessed it, McGonagall burst into song to the tune of Old MacDonald  
  
Old McGonagall taught a class  
Tran-fig-ur-a-tion  
And in that class she taught a spell  
To-turn-things-BLUE  
With a wave-flick-here  
And a Colorus Changee Blue there  
Here a color switch  
There a color switch  
Every where a color switch  
Old McGonagall taught a class  
Tran-fig-ur-a-tion  
  
"Alright class, you heard that song, wave and flick your wand and say, Colorus Changee Blue!"  
  
The class tried and failed, all except Hermione who switched her black rat with a ready died blue one.  
  
Harry: NNOOO!! We have more pointless homework that is going to inadvertently and conveniently save our lives later in the story  
  
Ron:*practices spell, changing everybody's skin color to Ying-Yang's, sunsets and tie-dye colors, yet cannot produce blue.  
  
Hermione: It's not that hard, jeez. Just cheat you wigging frugal baby poopie? WHAT THE! CUT! MALFOY'S MESSED WITH MY SCRIPT AGAIN! I CANNOT WORK LIKE THIS! *goes into trailer* 


	3. Warning, those with good imagination rea...

Harry & Co. walked to Potions class, prepared for another day of torture with chains, spikes, clubs, limbs being hacked off, oh wrong story.  
  
Harry: I love Roses Yes I do, I'm going to eat dog doo *looks proud*  
  
Ron: Harry, are you NUTS!!!!!  
  
Harry: Sorry, I mean I love VIOLETS ^_____^  
  
Ron: That's better.  
  
Hermione: LOOOOOOOOK, A BUNNY *hugs bunny that magically appeared*  
  
Snape walks in, angry as usual. Uh-oh, he's SMILING *Students run for dear life*  
  
Snape, to the tune of Oscar Meyer Weiner: My torture has a last name, it's S-P-E-A-R-S  
  
My torture has a first name it's B-R-I-T-T-A-N-Y  
  
I listen to it every day and if you ask me why I'll SSAAYY!  
  
Because Brittany Spears has a way with T-O-R-T-U-R-E!! *Brittany Spears pops out of nowhere  
  
Students: NNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!  
  
Brittany sings Crazy.  
  
Harry: STOP THE TORTURE STOP THE TORTURE NOT THIS ANYTHING BUT THIS!!!!  
  
Hermione: LALALALALALALALALLALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALLA LALAAL I CAN NOT HEAR SPEARS!!!  
  
Snape gets an evil grin: HAHAHAHAHA 157 points from all Gryffindors who are shrieking in pain!!!!! 333333345452622533 points to Slytherin for Malfoy freak dancing with her MUHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHHAHHAHHAHAHAHA. I expect all Gryffindors to be able to sing every one of Brittany's song on Monday, I expect all Slytherins to bring hard objects to throw at the Gryffindors!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
*bell rings for lunch, Harry cannot imagine what horrors await.*  
  
Harry: I cannot imagine what horrors await.  
  
-They arrive in Great Hall for lunch, as they sit down, Snape comes out in a *gasp* HALTER TOP, MINI SKIRT, AND VARIOUS USELESS MAKE-UP PRODUCTS!!!  
  
Dumbledore: Before lunch begins, Prof. Snape would like to sing us a song in his Goldilock wig and gogo high heeled shoes.  
  
Snape *gets on table*: Thank you Dumbledore, and now I will procede Uhhum. **starts dancing*  
  
I'm too sexy for my love. To sexy for my love. *freak dances with coat rack that's magically appeared*  
  
Loves gonna leave. *cat poles coat rack* I'm too sexy for my shirt. Too sexy for my shirt *takes halter off, spins above head, and throws it to random House-Elf, who cries and commits suicide HAHA, I mean, poor dear Blinky, any-who back to the singing Snape* So sexy that it hurt Oh so sexy! *slaps his but, grossness, author shudders, Hufflepuffs faint, gag, or get transported to Munchkin Land, suckers* I'm too sexy for my car. Too sexy for my car ** pulls wand out and explodes non-existent car everyone sees* Too sexy by far. Too sexy for my hat ** flings viking hat from coat rack to the students, hits three Slytherins on their heads* Harry whispers: Knew he favored Slytherins, those lucky pricks **glares at students who are comatose, wheeled away by Healers* Snape: On the catwalk **starts too take off mini skirt* Yeah shake my but on the catwalk **flings mini skirt off to reveal, A THONG!!! RUN FOR YOUR LIFE Samara Morgan-Ring screams at students, some escape, but then teachers do hexes, making students stand still and watch Snape, HA-HA, err.. Poor students (evil grin) back to Snape, who has his ass towards the students and is wiggling it, ewww* Too sexy for my cat, too sexy for my cat **picks McGonagall in cat form up, and throws her clear across the room* Poor pussy cat. Too sexy for my love, too sexy for my love. Love went out the door too sexy for my pants **as if taking the mini skirt off wasn't enough, Snape takes off, author pukes, luck to not see it*  
  
Entire student body: STUPIFY!!!!!!  
  
Snape goes to the crazy house.  
  
A/N, I loved this chapter!! REVIEW!!! 


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